Monday, November 30, 2009

Life is a mystery

Above is a picture of us with Santa. We took that picture on vacation last summer. That is where Santa goes in the summer.

Today I have a smile on my face....and am realizing how good life is.
I was thinking about Saturday.
Mark took the kids to the mall on Saturday because our anonymous friends gave the kids gift cards to the mall.
They used them to buy gifts for their siblings and Mark.
They were so excited to tell me what they bought each other in private.
Then, when I got home from work, we ate at Applebees because our friends left us Applebees gift certificates!!!

That is one of our favorite places to go as a family and we had not been out to eat since the first weekend in October related to finances.
We seemed to appreciate it all the more.

I hope you like the quote below from a Mary Oliver poem!!!

Take care you don’t know anything in this world
too quickly or easily. Everything is also a mystery,
and has its own secret aura in the moonlight,

its private song.

-Mary Oliver


Letting Go

We had another beautiful gift show up on our doorstep on Thanksgiving night. It was a pair of tie dye socks....each containing tons of gift cards. One with notes to the kids and one with notes to Mark and I.
It is so weird because it came at an exact moment when I was filled with self-pity and had been over focusing on the past. (the past meaning: a recent mean note that my aunt Nola had written me stating that she did not know who the real Michele was and did not know how I could post spiritual things on my blog... blahh...blahhh...blahhhh.)
Well that gift shot me out of my self-pity and my focusing on the past and how what one person can say to you in all of 5 minutes can ruin so many things in your life if you choose to let it.
so here I just wanted to thank our anonymous friends and let you know that your gift has pulled me back in to present time and I have a heart of gratitude.
My promise is to keep this flowing out in the universe!!!!!
and I promise to not let small things bother me anymore.

I have been so blessed with so much support and I need to start living it.
I hope you enjoy the quotes below from Caroline Myss....this situation has reminded me of all of her work.

Below are wonderful quotes from Myss!!!!

' Unplug from the BS and let go of the steering wheel.'

'Never go to bed with a grudge inside you or beside you.'

‘ Just let go. Let go of how you thought your life should be, and embrace the life that is trying to work its way into your consciousness.’

Get bored with your past, it's over!

' Sacred Truth #1: All is one.'

' Sacred Truth #2: Honor one another.'

' Sacred Truth #3: Honor oneself.'

' Sacred Truth #4: Love is divine power.'

' Sacred Truth #5: Surrender personal will to divine will.'

' Sacred Truth #6: Seek only the truth.'

' Sacred Truth #7: Live in the present moment.'

' Release the need to know why things happen the way they do.'

' Change is constant. Learn to go with its flow, whether it's peaceful or difficult.'

' Never look to another person to make you happy--happiness is an internal, personal attitude and responsibility.'

' Life is essentially a learning experience. Every situation, challenge and relationship contains some message worth learning or teaching to others.'

' There are no coincidences.'

' Nothing empowers our ability to heal as much as our love and forgiveness.'

' The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.'

' Healing is a present-time experience. Don't look backwards or forward, focus only on the present.'

' Spiritual teachings encourage us to grow past and through painful experiences, each of which is a spiritual lesson.'

'I am forgiving not for you, but for me. I am forgiving because I want my power back.'

'Change can be terrifying, yet healing requires change.'

'Get over it.'

‘To the extent that we forgive others, we are forgiven ourselves.’

My job is to let this world transform me.

Law of the gods: get bitter or better.

A forgiving heart is an honest heart.

Blame is a form of energetic cancer.

Most empowered position is to have my energy in present time.

If a job were a life purpose, people without jobs would have no life purpose.


Monday, November 23, 2009


We had such a nice time at the Conders on Saturday night.

We got out all kind of drums and other Steve's wooden flutes and had a drum circle with the kids.

It was a nice retreat for me because I have been so stressed lately with all of the financial things going on........I am so thankful for the wonderful and unconditional friendships we have.......they give me hope to keep on growing.

Thank you Leslie and Steve!!!!

I hope you like the words below.


"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming
of it.
My optimism, then, does not rest on the absence of evil, but on a glad
belief in the preponderance of good and a willing effort always to
cooperate with the good, that it may prevail. I try to increase the power
God has given me to see the best in everything and every one, and make
that Best a part of my life . . . No pessimist ever discovered the secret of
the stars or sailed an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the
human spirit."

-Helen Keller


Well, Macy's vision board worked. She is the one that wanted to do the vision boards and said she was going to put cats all over she could manifest one. I told her to put as many cats on her board as she wanted, but she was not going to get one.

Then last Monday night, I was walking in the park (without my ipod) and I hear this "Meow."
It turned out that it was a kitty stuck in a tree.....a very skinny and hungry kitty. I called Mark and Mira and they came down with a ladder. When I went to pick up Macy from dance, I told her what had happened and that the kitty was just staying with us until we found a home. She went tearing into the house and said " I can't wait to meet my new kitty."

Well, Jessie is still here and we are getting more and more attached to him....even Dusty seems to like him.

I hope you like the quote below.



"Very little grows on jagged rock. Be ground. Be
crumbled, so wildflowers will come up where you are. You've been stony for too many years. Try something different. Surrender."

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Smiles for Sophie

Almost two weeks ago, I was brought to tears at a nursing neurological conference that I went to for work. The keynote speakers brought down the house for me.
After their hour talk, I could think of nothing else.

They lost their daughter to an inopperable brain tumor...the details and links will follow. They are from Avon Ohio.

Their story was amazing.....this child was such an old soul that actually came to teach compassion and love. She never complained about her illness and was such a wise, and giving soul.

Even on her "make a wish cruise", she did not want any gifts...she only wanted to go to the gift shop to buy gifts for the princesses she was to meet each day.

She started to be drawn to rainbows in the end and would say she did not just like pink anymore, but she liked all the colors.

Her mom was so beautiful and shared her regrets about not just being in the moment.....talked about at the end when she was on Hospice, Sophie could not talk or move and could just sit on the sofa and how she would come in frequently and talk to Sophie and check on her but regrets not just sitting and holding her the whole day instead she was finishing the laundry and doing household tasks and trying to care for her other child.

Her dad talked about how Sophie was ultimately a teacher for a group of teens. He carried her onto the beach (Lake Erie) in the end and wanted her to enjoy the lake ......and while he was walking by this group of teens, one teen said "isn't that sweet? I am going to be a dad like that some day."
then the other teen said "Yeah.....if you want a retarded kid." Sophie's dad asked an elderly couple to watch Sophie while he ran back and gave the kids a "smiles for Sophie bracelet" and told them to look up her website on line. One of the teens did look up the website and emailed Sophie's father and said he was sorry and said what he learned from the incident. She was a teacher for those teens and helped them learn compassion.

also,read about the rainbow that appeared on the way to the funeral home before Sophie's first viewing here:

also her site is linked below:

Thanks Emily and Marc for sharing with us at the conference. Your family has not left my mind since and I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story and for making the world a better place for us all.

Please watch the video below!!!!!!


Friday, November 20, 2009

I Got You Babe

Stefanie Spielman passed over today after a 12 year battle with cancer. This video makes me cry......very sweet....they have a daughter named Macy too!!
My friend Roberta told me that if a million dollars solves all of your problems, then you don't have any real true.

Monday, November 16, 2009

On being present

This is an uplifting video by "Mindhush"...and I needed a mind hush this morning!!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Vision Boards

Macy making her vision board and below is her vision board.

Marko's vision board

my vision board

We watched the secret last week as a had been a long time since we watched it.
Macy wanted to make vision boards(putting what you want to bring into your life on a board) after watching it, we made some vision boards on Sunday.....Marko wants to put his on his ceiling so he can see it first thing in the morning.
Hope you like the quote below.

Life is a vast and intricate conspiracy designed to keep you well-supplied with blessings. What kind of blessings? Ten million dollars, a gorgeous physique, a perfect marriage, a luxurious home, and high status? Maybe.
But just as likely: interesting surprises, dizzying adventures, gifts you hardly know what to do with, and conundrums that dare you to get smarter and wilder and kinder and trickier.
- quote from *PRONOIA* by Rob Brezsny

The Present Moment

This is a picture that I sketched a few years ago when the kids were really into drawing and we would draw together....I guess that I am including it here because there is a picture of the old court house in the background....and the bells from the old courthouse are what I am about to write about. :)

Last late August (I think), an old school friend of mine named Brian Carpenter posted on his facebook status that he and his wife, Sharon, were sitting on their porch listening to the 6 o'clock bells ring @ St. Francis Church and then to the bells ring @ the old courthouse uptown. Other people replied to the post like Chris Simpson and stated how much they missed hearing those bells and how long it had been since they had heard those bells....for Chris, it was over 20 some years....I think.

Well, that post really made me think about how I am totally mindLESS about things in my life.
It really made me aware of how "unconscious" I am in my normal daily life.
At that moment, It occurred to me that I could not remember one single moment when I last heard those bells in the past 11 years that I have been living made me realize that I need more silence in my life.

Ever since that post, I have been taking more and more walks
without my ipod....I still listen to it some but have tried to just be present to what is now on my walks. I found that I enjoy my walks now because "I am here now" and I notice more in nature.
(like yesterday, I spotted a chipmunk munching on a nut or the other day I enjoyed the sound of leaves crunching under my feet like I used to do when I was a child.......and 2 weeks ago, I enjoyed the cheers from a distant soccer game while enthusiastic fans cheered on their team.) For some reason, the smells of fall that I remember as a child have been more apparent during my walks too. During those times, I feel very connected to nature.

For some of that time, my world slows I am struggling to make sense of all this mess that I am in, the
"being here now" seems to calm my fears...and I find that I can deal with what is just here at this moment.....and I can realize that my other darting fears ...are just thoughts and aren't really going to happen...they are just taking up my precious time.

and what I am most proud to say is ......I now too hear those bells from the courthouse and from St. Francis church when they sound.......and they are a gift for me to enjoy.
I hope you like the quote below.

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.
-Eckhart Tolle

Monday, November 9, 2009

Please give your support to this family

I have a special request....please leave Kory and his family a note of encouragement on his Caring Bridge website. He is a senior at Highland (Medina) who has a spinal cord injury after being injured playing a football game on 11/4.
His dad writes the most beautiful entries on the journal part of the website.

Dear Kory,
Hi!! My name is Michele Benjamin and my husband is a Highland graduate (Mark Kuhar, class of 76.) I have been following your dad’s postings on Caring Bridge ever since Jim Kelly (also class of 76) posted a link to the site on his facebook. There is also a big sign posted outside my daughters’ dance studio, Art In Motion, on Ridge Road. It makes me smile whenever I see the sign.

, I first want to say Thank you for all the postings that your dad has written. It takes a lot of courage to expose your raw emotions and fears in the open like that. Your dad’s “realness” is what has me so drawn into following how you are doing. I also agree with the anonymous mom who posted a note to you and said you are a strong soul who is here to be a teacher. For that is what I am sensing about you too.

I am an RN that works with Adolescent patients at the Cleveland Clinic downtown. I am absolutely convinced that the patients that I have cared for in my past and currently are my teachers. I started out in my nursing career as a very shallow person that really was given an easy life. I was very much a person that lived on the “outside.” And by the outside, I mean shopping at the mall was one of my major entertainment sources ….that and partying with my friends. I was very much into following the American Dream and obtaining material things, looking successful and doing things which would bring me pleasure. After my first 5 years of nursing, my life was changed forever….and I am still learning. Back then, I was taking care of kids from all different backgrounds and from all different countries even in life threatening situations. I cared for kids with brain tumors, leukemia, liver failure and yes, spinal cord injuries.
It was a very huge awakening for me and the most beautiful thing that I learned from all of this was LOVE.

I guess my major point of this note is to tell you how much I learned and grew from people like you. It sounds like the doctors and nurses who are given the gift to serve you are learning from you too. I know the world that surrounds you is praying for a miracle…and I am a part of those prayers….and I will continue to envision your healing….and believe me…I have seen many Miracles in my career!!!!

But perhaps, Kory, the biggest miracle of all this the LOVE that surrounds you and your entire family at this time. All of the beautiful posts that your dad has written and all of the beautiful notes that are on your site from others have shown me what a beautiful soul you are and how many lives you have touched.
That video your friends made on you tube makes me cry…it is very touching.

Please continue to breath in that love and exhale your fears. It is by far the biggest and most beautiful gift you have been given and it will carry you through your journey here in this life.
Besides, it is the only thing that is real.

"Hold on to the reins of Love and don’t be afraid. Hold on to the real behind the false and don't be afraid."

Mevlana Rumi

Lots of Love shining through here!!!!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

A crack to let the light back in

Marko's Halloween Costume

My Aunt Nola's Halloween Costume

My dad's Halloween Costume

I hope you enjoy the various Halloween costumes on here.

They were taken last night at trick-or-treat.

I have somehow got myself in a place of fear
and depression over the past month.

I am not at liberty to talk about all of the causes
but some of it has to deal with Mark being laid off from his job
and our financial situation.
I just have not been in a very good place.

Last night, my hardness cracked
and I feel some light coming in....I have been given hope.

An anonymous friend(s) stopped by and left a very,
overly generous gift on our porch.

I am hoping that this note of gratitude
will get out to the people involved.

I cry every time I think about it and
I am having a hard time accepting it.

All I can do is vow to put it back out there
in the universe when I am able.

Here is the note the gift came with:

To The Kuhar Family

The World that you love.

Loves you too.

Keep the Faith.

The note was not signed.

So, Whoever you are, Thank you from the deepest place in my heart.

Please know that the quote below is referring to you!!



"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch,

A smile, a kind word, a listening ear,

An honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,

All of which have the potential to turn a life around."

Leo Buscaglia