Why I Sit

Hello, I loved this article below by this man that used to be a CEO of a company and was caught up in the material world.....felt like he sold his soul but he learned to soften and go within. (kinda like that song Jerry Garcia sings:
From day to day
Just letting it ride
You get so far away
From how it feels inside
You can't let go
'Cause you're afraid to fall
But the day may come
When you can't feel at all)
Anyway, this man's reasons for meditating are similar to mine. Through meditation, I am learning to let go, to follow my heart and to trust what I do feel in my heart. Today, I went over to my friend, Sue Rudo's house. Sue is a breast cancer survivor. She is so easy to be with because she knows what is truly important in life. She is so "real." We did some artwork together. She is taking a water color class. I was telling her some thing that I learned about myself in this water color class I took at Omega.........and that was that I needed to let go more. My instructor , Ann, told us to just have fun playing in the medium of watercolors. I found myself wanting to draw or paint something "concrete." not wanting to just go "free form." It was like I needed this safety net to protect me from what I was about to release on the paper. Sitting in Silence helps me let go of my fears..........helps me to just let go and let my true spirit guide me. Anyway, above is the picture that I painted with Sue today. It is suppose to be a humming bird......I was going to say something negative about my picture but that would be being self critical and I am going to let that go................anyway,What a fun day.
What a beautiful friend I have in Sue.
read below!!!!
Love, Michele







Why I Sit
--Paul Fleischman


This morning, the first thing I did was to sit for an hour.
I have done that regularly for twenty years, and
have spent many evenings, days and weeks doing the same.

I would like to know myself.
It is remarkable that while ordinarily we spend most of our lives studying,
contemplating, observing and manipulating the world around us,
the structured gaze of the thoughtful mind is so rarely turned inwards.
This avoidance must measure some anxiety, reluctance or fear.

Most of our lives are spent in externally oriented functions
that distract from self-observation. This relentless, obsessive
drive persists independently of survival needs such as food and warmth,
and even of pleasure. Second to second,
we couple ourselves to sights , tastes, words, motions
or electronic stimuli, until we fall dead.
It is striking how many ordinary activities,
from smoking a pipe to watching sunsets,
veer towards, but ultimately avoid,
sustained attention to the reality of our own life.

Sitting helps me overcome my deepest fears.
I become freer to live from my heart and to face the consequences,
but also to reap the rewards of this authenticity.
Much of what I called pain was really loneliness and fear.
It passes, dissolves, with that observation.
The vibrations of my body are humming the song that can be heard
only when dawn and dusk are simultaneous, instantaneous, continuous.
I feel that a burst of stern effort is a small price to pay to hear
this inner music- fertile music from the heart of life itself.

I sit to anchor and organise my life around my heart and mind,
and to radiate out to others what I find. Though I shake in strong winds,
I return to this basic way of living. The easy, soothing comfort
and deep relaxation that accompany intense awareness in stillness,
peel my life like an onion to deeper layers of truth,
which in turn are scoured and soothed until the next layer opens.
I sit to discipline my life by what is clear, simple, self-fulfilling
and universal in my heart. There is no end to this job.
I have failed to really live many days of my life,
but I dive again and again into the plain
guidance of self-containment and loving receipt.
I sit to find and express simple human love and common decency.

--Paul Fleischman