Friendship

Who's got big hair??? Here is the gang from highschool:
Chien, Chris, Katie, Big Hair, Sherri and Leslie.
Read Below.....great note about friendship!
Love,
Michele

LESSONS IN FRIENDSHIP

True friendship is a soul-level connection. Fortunate are you if
you develop five "true friends" during your entire lifetime. Joanne
Blum, Ph.D. describes what being in friendship is like. She writes, "We
are energized and uplifted. We are filled with new ideas. Feeling a
sense of understanding and of being understood, we are validated and
encouraged; we know we are not alone. Our friends inspire us to grow. What
we admire in them--their compassion, energy, joy, or peace--motivates us to
rise higher. They become the mirror in which we see our better selves.
..We are spiritually invigorated by the wisdom and beauty we see in our
friends."

We are rarely taught the skills of friendship. We grow up never
knowing our own abilities for contributing to friendship. We often waste
irretrievable hours, even days or years, relating to people who are toxic to
us, demanding our time and energy for no good purpose. In her book, "Lessons In
Truth," H. Emilie Cady warns, "If you can help such people, well; if not,
gather yourself together and do not waste a moment idly diffusing and
dissipating yourself to gratify their idleness. You have no idea what you
lose by it." We harm ourselves psychologically, emotionally and spiritually
when we constantly override our own deep desires and purposes in order to
address other's needs for attention or diversion.

You cannot change anyone else in order to build a better friendship.
You can only change yourself and modify what you bring to the
friendship. Here are nine "lessons" you may want to learn in order to
create, maintain and evolve a true friendship.

1. Give your friend more than he/she expects. Give, not for their
sake or the sake of the friendship. Rather, give for the joy you create
by giving.

2. Be quick to accept and forgive the hurts which are always
involved in friendship. You can't realistically expect to dance closely and
never step on one another's toes. When you apologize and ask for
forgiveness, look them directly in the eye. Don't let little conflicts
injure a great friendship.

3. Consciously choose your friends. Co-dependent friendships are
usually unconsciously chosen. Intentionally choose your friend on a
"soul-level."

4. Always tell the truth to your friends. Tell it about yourself.
Tell it about them. Tell it about your friendship. Ralph W. Emerson once
described "being permitted to speak truth" as one essential criterion for
friendship.

5. Acknowledge who your friend is now. Accept that they may grow,
change, and evolve. Sometimes your own growth as well as your friend's will
result in the dissolution of the friendship. Realize that such transitions
are natural and rejoice in them. Be patient with emerging friendships.

6. Risk loving deeply. Approach loving with reckless abandon. All
great achievements, all great friendships, all great loves, involve great
risks. Even if you are afraid, risk being loving in your friendships.

7. Make friends with those you love to talk with. Share your
knowledge. Listen passionately to theirs. When you leave such a
conversation, you will always feel energized.

8. Spend time alone. This will increase your self-awareness and
the likelihood you will take full responsibility for your own thoughts,
feelings and actions regarding your friendship...regarding your life.

9. Honor your friendship with gentle respect. Trying to force a
friendship is like tearing open a flower bud to make it bloom faster.
Forcing the evolution of friendships will destroy them.

Learn and practice these nine lessons in friendship, and within your
lifetime you may evolve more than just five true friendships. You will
certainly become a true friend yourself.

By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.