Happy Valentines Day!!!!!!!!

The archetype of marriage was designed to assist physical survival...The archetype of marriage is no longer functional.

- Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul (1989)

Is it the end of marriage as we know it???-m


Gary Zukav on the Illusion of Romantic Love
According to Gary Zukav, romance has nothing to do with love. It is not real. Romance is your desire to make yourself complete through another person rather than through your own inner work.

Gary gives us this analogy: We all attend a university — Gary calls it the Universe. There are particular campuses on this university. One is called the Earth School.

All of the courses offered at the Earth School have one objective — to teach us how to obtain authentic power. Authentic power, Gary tells us, is the alignment of the personality with the soul.

One of the classes offered at the Earth School is called Romantic Love.

Gary says romantic love is like a drug. It produces euphoria, energy and vitality. You think you've found someone to complete your life — it's a high. But when that drug wears off, everything you felt before you took the drug returns. That is the moment of disillusionment. You think love is gone, but the illusion is gone.

This is the time that most people go back and take the romance class again. They look for someone else to provide this feeling of euphoria. But Gary says, you will eventually see this person for who they really are, and the feeling of romance will again fade.

Searching for What's Missing in Your Life
When you find someone you think is completing you, Gary suggests making a list of the things you love about that person. Those traits are qualities that you have the capability of cultivating within yourself. Another person can never give you those things.

The disintegration of romantic love, Gary reminds us, is not a tragic loss. Rather, it is the beginning of the possibility of real growth within you. No one else can "rescue" or "save" you. If you're searching for Mr. Right, Gary says you're looking in the wrong direction. Instead, you must do the inner work and become Ms. Right. Until you intend to make yourself whole, Gary says, you will not be able to experience true love.

Spiritual Partnership
The only way love lasts is if it continues to grow into something deeper. Gary says that true love has to do with giving, and caring for someone else. He defines Spiritual Partnership as a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. It's not possible to have a spiritual partnership with someone you think will "complete you".

This came from Oprah.com

GARY ZUKAV'S GUIDELINES FOR SPIRITUAL PARTNERSHIP:

SPIRITUAL PARTNERSHIP is partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth.

It requires:

• COMMITMENT – TO CREATE AUTHENTIC POWER (ALIGN MY PERSONALITY WITH MY SOUL).
• Focus on what I can learn about myself all the time, especially from my reactions (such as anger, fear, jealousy, resentment, and impatience) instead of judging or blaming others or myself.
• Notice my emotions (by feeling the physical sensations in my energy centers).
• Notice my thoughts (such as planning my reply, judging, analyzing, comparing, day-dreaming, etc.)
• Notice my intention (such as blaming, judging, needing to be right, wanting admiration, escaping into thoughts (intellectualizing), trying to convince, etc.)
  
  
• COURAGE – TO STRETCH MYSELF BEYOND THE LIMITED PERSPECTIVES OF THE FRIGHTENED PARTS OF MY PERSONALITY.
• Take responsibility for my feelings, experiences, and actions (no blaming)
• Practice integrity at all times (often requires action, such as speaking when frightened parts of my personality don’t want to speak and not speaking when they feel compelled to speak).
• Say or do what is most difficult (sharing what I notice, if appropriate, when someone speaks or acts from a frightened part of her personality; sharing about myself what I am frightened to say and know that I need to say.)
  

• COMPASSION – TO SEE MYSELF AND OTHERS AS SOULS WHO SOMETIMES HAVE FRIGHTENED PARTS OF THEIR PERSONALITIES ACTIVE.
• Change my perspective from fearful to loving (choose to see myself and others in a loving or appreciative way).
• Release any distance I feel from anyone.
• Be present while others are speaking (not preparing replies, judging, etc.)
  


• CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION AND ACTION – TO BRING ALL OF THE ABOVE INTO MY INTERACTIONS.
• Consult my intuition.
• Choose my intention before I speak or act.
• Act from the healthiest part of my personality that I can find (rather than caretaking, fixing, teaching, judging, blaming, gossiping, etc.)
• Speak personally and specifically rather than generally and abstractly (use “I” statements rather than “we” or “you” statements).
• Release attachment to the outcome (trust the Universe). If I find myself attached, begin again with Commitment, Courage, Compassion.